From Lea:
When people come to you for help, what do they usually want help with?
Oooooh, that’s a fun question! You know, people come to therapy because they’re unhappy with the way their lives are – or because someone else is threatening them with some kind of unpleasant consequences if they don’t come. But often, my clients need help coming to terms with a difficult (traumatic) past that is impacting their current life, interfering with relationships, causing nightmares, anxiety, depression and the sense that their life will never be ok. They want to be able to focus and pay attention, quit having unpredictable anger outbursts, increase their self-esteem, be more in touch with themselves, and find more joy in their lives.
Often, they come in thinking it’s not about the past trauma. They want to believe that the things that happened in the past aren’t still bothering them. And I can understand feeling that way. But there’s lots of evidence that it doesn’t work like that. The things that happen to us will keep resurfacing, presenting themselves and demanding to be dealt with again and again. Not a straight line of recovery, but a spiral.
So therapy can become a healing journey – a long journey, and often we have to wander through hell to get to the other side, but accompanying people as they take that journey is the most rewarding thing I know of. Does that answer the question?
Thanks for asking!!
Olivia 
Interesting perspective. I used to think my family situation was dysfunctional. Now I think I was the dysfunctional one. Everybody else was getting along the best they could.
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Oh, interesting. If you were my client, I would want to hear a lot more about that. Also, I’m pretty sure that “dysfunctional” is on a continuum, not an either you are or aren’t. 🙂
Thanks for commenting, David,
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I dunno. What lead me to this conclusion is that I was the only one among my siblings to drink alcoholically. All 4 of us were raised by the same parents. Yet I was the only one to deal with the issues of life by drinking.
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So I can see why you would feel that way. And maybe they did develop really healthy coping skills. Or maybe they just have more covert ways to deal with life that are not actually more “functional.” Hard to say.
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Olivia, The spiral runs deep in my world. I find I continually run toward the top in an attempt to leave all of those past stairwells behind but then I remember I’m afraid of heights and I creep back down to hide in the shadows. Can you help a girl out?! Amy
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It is really hard! I think that’s a really common way to react – after all, hardly anyone willingly walks into what may look like a raging fire. Be patient with yourself. And, um, maybe finding a good therapist to see could help? If you don’t already have one… Hugs…
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and now, my question…
You have won a special magical vacation:
For one year, you will live the life of any character in fiction that you choose.
Who do you pick?
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Oh, that is kind of an evil question! I”ll be awake all night trying to think of just the right character…
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Hi Olivia,
What a great question, I enjoyed reading your answer to this. Thank you for sharing 🙂
Hugs
Roz
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Hi, Roz,
Thanks so much – it was a really good question! And I’m always glad to talk about trauma and healing. (I know that might be a little strange…) But thanks! And hugs to you…
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Thank you for answering. That was very profound. I meant it to be a general question. I love the poster you included too; about the spiral.
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Oh, ooops – like “People come to me when they need help making the perfect pie crust?” Or “when they need help with a math problem?” That’s great – and here I am all therapist-y all the time. Lol. I’m glad you liked my answer, and the spiral, even though it wasn’t what you expected!! ❤
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