Thoughts 10-1

i’ve had a little piece of a fantasy.  My Dom (in the fantasy) punishes me for breaking the rules about speech by putting a clothes pin on my tongue.  i am fascinated by the image and by imagining the feel of it.

No, we do not have a clothespin this i can try to discover just how much i would hate this.  Ok we probably have some somewhere – for sure, the ones Fiona gave me a lifetime ago – I remember moving them!  But i have no idea where they are.

In my fantasy, as I begin to script it, I can’t figure out what the rules are around speaking or why i’m breaking them.  i think maybe he makes up  arbitrary rules for me to break, but that doesn’t feel right.

Then i wonder why i’m having this fantasy, how does this apply to my life?  And i know, even though i don’t want to know, that in my interactions with my partner, i’ve become sharp and sometimes unkind.  Harsh, he says, although he isn’t distressed by it, he seems to be able to separate what i mean from what i say

But still.

That’s not how i want to be – not who i want to be.  I don’t think that what i’m saying is “wrong,” and I have a right to say what i feel.   But sometimes i’m so irritated – so irritated you can’t even imagine – and i’m sharp.  My words can be cutting.

With or without a clothespin to remind me to watch my tongue, i need to stop that.

And PS I went looking for an image to go with this post – there are, indeed, “stock photos of a blonde woman with clothespin on tongue” but that’s actually a little too odd for me so i’m not posting any of them.  Just a clothespin.

182514220

 

 

7 thoughts on “Thoughts 10-1

  1. Well if you don’t like the look of a clothespin, two chopsticks or bbq skewers with elastics at either end holding over the tongue also work. They don’t hurt as much as a clothespin ( depending) but you can bring in your tongue so it is very humbling drooling all over the place.

    Seems to me, being sharp or curt is as good as any reason to have that punishment . Er that is for your story. LOL. Swearing is another reason. Perhaps your character has been told to stop talking because she has been ‘short’ with everyone and everything all day and her Dom is tired of her negativity…except she has to get ONE last word in—-NOT that I know ANYONE like that 😉

    Like

    1. Lol, Thanks Willie!! You speak with the air of one who knows many things… 🙂 And yes, that would be as good a reason as any, um, for the story.

      Thanks for commenting – it’s good to see you again!!

      Like

  2. It’s sort of like the sensation of nipple clamps-that hard bite, that is sharp and then mellows out. Except there is lots of drool and your tongue feels….rough?….for a while after. It happened to me only once, sooo many years ago, but it is an odd sensation that you don’t forget. i think that you have exceptionally valid reasons to be hurt, to be angry. After all, what has occurred in the D/s part of your relationship is not at all what you signed up for. i don’t see how that need doesn’t carry over and color other areas of the relationship, causing more feeling than you intend with smaller things (which you could likely overlook if you were getting the things you need as a woman, and a submissive woman). i can’t imagine life anymore without a constant pleasant demeanor and/ or being a sweetly naughty child. At the slightest hint of her disapproval i am self-correcting, censuring. i’m not saying this is preferable to being harsh. i think it is worth talking to him about what is *really* going on, under the surface. Your life is already about taking care of lots of people, so if your submissive needs could be met through service that way alone, you’d be set. And you aren’t. Somehow, that needs to be fixed for you. You deserve everything you want and need. ❤ Love you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, yikes, pretty sure I don’t really want to have that experience. Maybe just write about it. But thanks for describing it, that’s good to know.

      Yes, I’m definitely crankier because MP and I don’t have a D/s relationship. And more likely to express those feelings more vehemently. Shrug, we never had an actual contract or even a serious discussion about the D/s side of our relationship. I thought we had an understanding, and I guess he did too. But he’s not really a Dom. He’s a sweet, lovable Buddhist kind of guy. Not a Dom.

      I agree, serving people isn’t enough. I don’t know that i’ll ever get what i want. i just need to keep figuring out what to do in the meantime. Thanks for the vote of confidence!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sweet lovable Buddhist guys can at least provide sensations that you happen to need-right?! Sigh. Look-he is who he is-but that DID work better than what is going on now. Maybe a contract makes sense?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Truly, NBG is treading water trying to take care of himself – even with what I can offer in the way of help. I totally don’t think he has ANY interest in Domming me. Much less a contract. Shrug. It’s ok, for now anyhow.

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s