My heart is racing; my mouth is dry. Being asked for my opinion like this is as bad as having to cut my own switch – almost a punishment in itself.
Sir Martin waits, head cocked, smiling slightly, as if he’s just interested in my answer.
At last, i say, “Of course, Sir, the correct answer is that whatever you decide is right. We both know that.” i pause to make sure that’s not all he wants to hear – sometimes, that’s enough.
But – “Yes, I know that, and still, I want to hear what you think, this time. You were supposed to put cuffs and collar on and you forgot. How big a deal is that, and how heavy should the punishment be?”
i pause, looking for the right words. “i think that by itself, it was not a very big deal, Sir. It was, as Mister David said, an easy mistake for me to make, because it was a change of routine. But – ” i take a deeper breath, and go on, “it shows that i wasn’t focusing on this visit, that i was acting out of habit or routine rather than being mindful of today. i judge myself more harshly for that.”
He nods. “Well said, I would agree with that. So I’ll put this clip,” taking the light blue one in hand, “and attach it to the left side of your collar.” Ok, a heavier punishment, but a small infraction.
“Thank you, Sir,” i say, surprising both of us a bit.
“We’ll see if you thank me later,” he says, with a warm grin, putting me at ease and making me curious about what my punishment will be.
David has the leash and he attaches it to the front ring of my collar before he hands the other end to Sir Martin. “She’s trained to heel,” he says, which makes me flush with embarrassment. i am, of course, well-trained. i can walk slightly behind and to the right of whoever is leading me, changing pace and turning corners without breaking stride or getting under his feet. Still, it’s embarrassing to be talked about as if i were a dog.
“What’s next on the agenda?” asks Sir Martin.
“Ah,” says David. “Completing the “Entry to the Center” ritual is next.” So far, we have not left the little entry room.
David goes on,”You’ll lead her a few steps into the room here, and tell her to kneel. Take the whip hanging on the wall right here – have her kisses the whip, and kiss your hand, and then she’ll ask for permission to enter. You can add whatever variation to that you like.”
“Oh, that’s a lot like the ritual we used where I was before,” says Sir Martin, “I’ll do it the way I’ve been doing it and then you can tell me later if I was off the mark in any way.” He steps back from me, holding the leash loosely, then pulling it taut so I am drawn into the room.
“On your knees,” he commands, with a slight downward tug on the leash. i go down quickly, as gracefully as i can, kneeling up with my legs parted. Without being told, i put my hands behind my back, which thrusts my breasts forward.
“Very nice,” he says. He offers the whip, pressing the end of it to my lips first, and then the handle. Finally, he offers his hand, palm up. “This hand,” he says, “is going to spank you and caress you. This hand is going to finger fuck you and pinch your nipples. This hand will make you cum and it’ll make you cry.”
Trembling with anticipation, i press my lips to his palm, his hand cups my face and i breathe in his scent. Since he doesn’t remove his hand immediately, i touch his skin with the tip of my tongue. His hand is still there, so feeling a bit braver, i begin to trace a pattern on his skin, still using just the tip of my tongue.
His hand moves, opens a bit, as if he welcomes this attention. Feeling bolder, i lick my way – delicately – across his palm and down to the tip of one finger. i am putting my heart into this, wanting to show him my appreciation in advance. Since he still doesn’t stop me, i pull the fingertip into my mouth, past my teeth, licking and sucking gently, as if – you know, as if it were his cock and i were making love to it.
He lets me caress him until i’m lost in the sensation. Savoring the taste and the feeling of his finger in my mouth, taking it deep, moving my head slightly to take it in deeper, sliding over it, making love to it. i think i could have stayed there all day.
But he stops me, “That’s enough, girl,” he says gruffly, but i can tell he’s pleased.
“She needs to ask permission to enter,” says David, unmoved by this heightened sexual awareness. Sir Martin just looks at me, eyebrows raised.
“Sir,” i start. This part is always hard for me. “Sir, may i enter, please? i’m – i’m in need of structure and release. i need to be punished and played with and i need to serve. i need -” and there are tears in my eyes, threatening to overflow, but i don’t stop – “i need to be used and to please and to be contained and disciplined..” i laugh, ruefully, “To be taken in hand, i guess. Please, Sir, may i enter?”