Today, i decided to skip an activity that i usually do and spend some time taking care of tasks i haven’t done and just some general self-care.  By not doing the thing i usually do, i feel like i’m letting other people down, and that doesn’t feel good.  At the same time, i think maybe i’m doing the right thing for myself.

How do i know?

i don’t.

i am appalled sometimes by how sensitive i am to other people’s judgement and opinions about me.  i’m 60 years old,  i think i should i be beyond that somehow.   Do i really need someone else to tell me it’s ok to stay home and take care of my own stuff?  Apparently i do.

And really, even if that’s true, there’s no point in beating myself up for it.   i guess i’ll always be that sensitive to external approval or disapproval.  If you knew me IRL, you wouldn’t guess i was like that, it’s a well-hidden part of myself.

There’s not going to be any benefit to having stayed home if i don’t get some stuff done though.  And while doing a blog post is on the list, clearly i’m not inspired to do some terrific post.

So i’ll leave this here:.

Seems like a worthy goal.