No Longer Missing

/ olivia

Almost every day, James and I add more to Delilah and Master Graham’s story. We rarely discuss the story line – we just write our reactions to whatever the other person has said or done, I am often surprised by what happens next – and I relish the way the story is unfolding. I have grown to feel that Delilah IS my submissive self.

But of course she’s not. I am not the lovely Delilah. She reminds me of who I was when I was younger, but I have not been that person for a long time. While Delilah invites MG to lead her in a slow sensual dance, finding her way deep into submission…

my fantasies often take me to a darker place – one I probably don’t want to visit in real life, but it feeds the arousal Delilah and MG have started within me.

I have mentioned before that when it comes to “taking care of myself,” which is my euphemism for – you know, self-pleasuring – I am pretty much a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am kind of girl. I prefer a vibrating dildo and wield it one-handed, the other hand, playing with my nipples.

No sensual exploration, no edging for me. Thoroughly aroused already, by a book, a memory, or my own fantasies, I head straight for the finish line. I hit the peak with the smallest of sounds – a gasp, a whimper, a moan – and come trembling back down, feeling my whole body relax completely, letting go of everything, in just the way I need it to.

A good spanking would do the same thing of course, and often my fantasies revolve around that. Or more intensely, remembered scenes of Story of O. Who knows how accurately I remember them anymore – it’s been years since I actually read the book. But for the sake of my fantasies, it doesn’t matter.

Anyhow. It feels good to be writing here as myself. Hello, Everyone.

16 thoughts on “No Longer Missing”

  1. hello friend! *smiles*
    I’m glad to see you back, and writing. also very glad to hear you are back, to yourself!

    i’ve always understood writing as write what you know, what you feel, otherwise it feels hollow. readers can tell the difference and that’s probably why what you and James are producing is landing so well with your audience. 🙂

    “my fantasies often take me to a darker place – one I probably don’t want to visit in real life” – i’d love to be a fly on that wall! 😉 lol ‘self care’ in your terms has never made me relax, i’m guessing perhaps it’s the energy you’ve tapped into that helps? idk – just pondering out loud.

    anyway, hello! 😀

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  2. It feels good to see you writing as yourself, my dear friend. I am greatly enjoying the Delilah series that you and James X are creating together, but I am glad to hear your voice here in this space as well. It was fun to see your reflections on how that story is unfolding.

    As to those dark places, I think we all have them. I try not to be too judgemental of mine. Like you, I’m not actually sure I would want to go there with someone, if I could trust someone deeply enough to take me there, if I trust myself enough to go there… but they exist inside of me, and I acknowledge them from time to time.

    Thank you for being a great support in my life, olivia. I am grateful to know that you are on the other end of email ❤️

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    • Thank you, Nora! I’m glad you’re enjoying the series, of course, but also appreciate that you like seeing me, my friend!

      Yeah, I’m not too judgmental of those dark places – but I acknowledge them and own them. Too myself, anyhow. I think you’re right, with enough trust and time, I might end up in one of those dark fantasies – but I’m not sure it would be the best thing for me. Ha- just realized we’re both all about acknowledging them!

      As for me being a support – you’ve certainly been there for me too – it’s totally mutual, and I’m glad I can be there. 💜

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    • Thanks! So glad you’ve enjoyed it. And I appreciate that you liked hearing from me too!

      Story of O is the quintessential M/s story, imo, and I’ve talked with lots of other submissive women who have been deeply affected by that book. Ooooh, there’s another blog post for me…

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      • Absolutely! Looking forward to reading the new chapter that I think I saw just came out. And yes! You should absolutely write something about Story of O. I’d enjoy hearing your perspective on it. It is certainly something that leaves quite an impression on you when you read it. Even though I was familiar with it already, my actual introduction to the story was from an Italian graphic novel version. Which of course, paired it with visuals. It was very provocative. 😅

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      • Omg, I imagine a graphic novel of Story of O would be pretty provocative!! For me thought, it is always the words that capture me. Phrases that resonate deeply.

        Yeah, there’s a blog post here. Thanks for encouragement! 💜

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