I think I live in song about half the time these days. I hope you’re all already playing this oldie in your head. but in case you aren’t, here it is. Another Saturday Night by Sam Cooke.
“Another Saturday night and I ain’t got nobody…” I guess that sounds sad, but if you listen to the rhythm of the music, he’s not depressed. It’s a lament, I think. And yes, he says, “I’m in an awful way.” But it doesn’t leave me with a sense of despair.
Anyhow, the song’s in my head, so I played it, and I’m moving to the rhythm, thinking about my life, and I realize that I’m ok. In my little less than perfect life, with the world crashing and burning around us, right now, in the moment, I’m good. And really, isn’t that all we ever get?
I’m spring cleaning, sweeping out the things that no longer serve me (a long list.). Reorganizing my office. I had started to feel like the walls were closing in on me, but I have space to move now. Well, not really yet, it’s still a work in progress, but I can see the structure of how it will be once I finish sorting through the small piles of stuff that somehow accumulates in my life.
I’m toying with the idea of joining some kind of BDSM chat line. I know, I’m an eternal optimist. But it would be entertaining and it might replace playing free cell as my *just killing time* activity. Sure, I could try embroidery instead, but I’m not quite as excited about the potential outcome.
I’ve been inspired by nora’s recent post on her blog Finding Strength in my Submission. Submission and Personal Fulfillment gives us an inside glimpse at the beauty of her relationship. If you’ve been following her for a while, you know that her path hasn’t always been smooth and easy, but her story inspires me to try again.
If you’ve been reading here for a while, you may feel a bit confused. Didn’t I just walk away from the opportunity to have a D/s relationship with Sir Jon? Honestly, I was just not going to mention that, but acting like it didn’t happen seems like ignoring an elephant in the room, which is not really my style. So here I am not ignoring it.
The relationship just didn’t work. I’m not doing a public postmortem analysis. I will say again that Sir Jon didn’t do anything wrong, it just didn’t work out the way we had hoped. And that’s ok. It’s not like Doms and subs are interchangeable parts, as youall well know. You can’t just plug a person into either side of the equation and expect magic.
But if I am open to possibility – and I am – then I need to release that energy into the world. I am often not sure where I’m going or how I’m going to get there, and that’s ok. It’s enough today to know that I am still open and willing to discover the path.
“I warn you. Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself, and yourself alone, one question… Does this path have heart?
… For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length.
And there I travel looking, looking, breathlessly.”
I know that you weren’t polling your audience, but I would wholeheartedly vote for the chat line over the embroidery! lol! 😉
I appreciate your concept of “spring cleaning” to make physical and emotional space for yourself, and I love that you’re channeling your eternal optimism. It’s a bumpy ride these days, and from the outside looking in, folks think that it’s effortless and easy to be upbeat. It’s anything but…and you are a warrior, my friend!!!
Lol, Jaye, I should have polled my readers! But I bet just about everyone would agree with you!
It is a bumpy ride for sure! That eternal optimism gets challenged over and over. But really – the options are pretty bleak. I know cause I’ve visited ‘i give up’ and ‘in despair’ at times – I just won’t live there. Lol, I guess I am a warrior.
So, my first note on this post is that I put this song on, and both of my puppies started getting riled up, wagging their tails, and demanding to be on my lap (literally pushing my laptop aside). They LOVED it! And, so did I 🙂
Second, I LOVE the idea of a BDSM chatline. On occasion, I still go to the spanking chatroom where I met my Sir. While I have to talk to a lot of posers in order to find one decent man to talk to, the stimulation and new energy is always nice when it works out. We use spankingchat.com, though I don’t think it offers free chat anymore (only the paid plan). But I love you expanding in this way and inviting new energy into your world.
And I agree with what you wrote about how not every Dom and every sub are going to be a perfect fit. This reminds me of how, back in the day, people thought that if they knew a gay single person that they’d be a great match for the other gay single person they knew, simply because they were both gay. It just doesn’t work that way. As a woman who identifies as a submissive, you have certain wants or needs that not just any Dom will be able to fulfill. And as the forever optimist, I believe you will find someone whose wants and needs align with yours in a way that feels thrilling, meaningful, and that will expand your world ❤
Oh, cool! Thanks for sharing the website you used. There are so many to choose from these days (yes, “these days,” not like the old days when we only had a couple of choices and had to walk uphill to school 10 miles both ways…).
Anyhow. That’s funny – I remember when people were like that about the two gay people they knew. And sometimes there’s an attitude Doms can have like “Yeah, I’m a Dom, you’re a sub, so you must want to submit to me.” I’ve run into that on Fet a lot. Shrug, it doesn’t matter. Letting that go and moving on. I appreciate your belief that I will find that someone – there’s a saying that often goes through my mind, but I rarely say it. It’s “from your mouth to God’s ear.” Thanks for holding the optimism with me! 💜
I read your blog often (even if I only rarely comment), and really enjoy your perspective. I feel exactly the same about “being alone against the storm.” I’d LOVE a chat line!
Jean Marie – I’m, glad you enjoy my perspective and I always appreciate it when you do comment! And wait – are you thinking like a chat line where bloggers could chat? Cause that would be amazing. 💜
Oh Olivia, isn’t it funny how often people think we’re like jigsaw pieces that just go together (oh dear, now I’ve got that Grease song stuck in my head! 😉 ), because we’re Dom and sub? I remember Sir Jon (assuming it’s the same one) and I do remember my own run-ins with him. Truthfully told, as you rightly say, we are who we are and we like what we like. I still have my husband/Daddy in my life, as well as my Dom friend, Sir JGood, they’re enough for me to be happy with right now. Sir JGood doesn’t set me tasks or give me directions, he is only a friend to me, but sometimes a friend is all we need.
Your direction sounds good, and I hope you find success. I myself have been thinking about rejoining Fetlife, but it’s not an immediate priority. Above all else, for me it will just be about making like-minded friends.
True – we are not like jigsaw pieces! I’m glad that you still have the pieces you want in your life, and are happy with how things are. You’re right, friends are good too – a Dom and a friend sounds about right!
As for Fetlife -yeah it’s still a hot mess. I wouldn’t make it priority either. But if you get back on, look me up.
Thanks for the supportive words! You take care too. 💜
Life is a patchwork of moments — laughter, solitude, everyday joys, and quiet aches. Through scribbled stories, I explore travels both far and inward, from sunrise over unfamiliar streets to the comfort of home. This is life as I see it, captured in ink and memory. Stick around; let's wander together.
Olivia 
I know that you weren’t polling your audience, but I would wholeheartedly vote for the chat line over the embroidery! lol! 😉
I appreciate your concept of “spring cleaning” to make physical and emotional space for yourself, and I love that you’re channeling your eternal optimism. It’s a bumpy ride these days, and from the outside looking in, folks think that it’s effortless and easy to be upbeat. It’s anything but…and you are a warrior, my friend!!!
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Lol, Jaye, I should have polled my readers! But I bet just about everyone would agree with you!
It is a bumpy ride for sure! That eternal optimism gets challenged over and over. But really – the options are pretty bleak. I know cause I’ve visited ‘i give up’ and ‘in despair’ at times – I just won’t live there. Lol, I guess I am a warrior.
Thanks, Jaye. 💜
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So, my first note on this post is that I put this song on, and both of my puppies started getting riled up, wagging their tails, and demanding to be on my lap (literally pushing my laptop aside). They LOVED it! And, so did I 🙂
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Lol, I love that the puppies loved it – and that you did too! 💜
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❤ ❤ ❤
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Second, I LOVE the idea of a BDSM chatline. On occasion, I still go to the spanking chatroom where I met my Sir. While I have to talk to a lot of posers in order to find one decent man to talk to, the stimulation and new energy is always nice when it works out. We use spankingchat.com, though I don’t think it offers free chat anymore (only the paid plan). But I love you expanding in this way and inviting new energy into your world.
And I agree with what you wrote about how not every Dom and every sub are going to be a perfect fit. This reminds me of how, back in the day, people thought that if they knew a gay single person that they’d be a great match for the other gay single person they knew, simply because they were both gay. It just doesn’t work that way. As a woman who identifies as a submissive, you have certain wants or needs that not just any Dom will be able to fulfill. And as the forever optimist, I believe you will find someone whose wants and needs align with yours in a way that feels thrilling, meaningful, and that will expand your world ❤
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh, cool! Thanks for sharing the website you used. There are so many to choose from these days (yes, “these days,” not like the old days when we only had a couple of choices and had to walk uphill to school 10 miles both ways…).
Anyhow. That’s funny – I remember when people were like that about the two gay people they knew. And sometimes there’s an attitude Doms can have like “Yeah, I’m a Dom, you’re a sub, so you must want to submit to me.” I’ve run into that on Fet a lot. Shrug, it doesn’t matter. Letting that go and moving on. I appreciate your belief that I will find that someone – there’s a saying that often goes through my mind, but I rarely say it. It’s “from your mouth to God’s ear.” Thanks for holding the optimism with me! 💜
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And when you do meet that special someone, I will be here to root you on and become his “fan girl” 🙂 XOXO
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I wish you all the best as you explore new paths, etc. If there’s anything I can do to help…you know where to find me. ‘🩶
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Thanks so much, Jon. That means a lot to me. 💜
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I read your blog often (even if I only rarely comment), and really enjoy your perspective. I feel exactly the same about “being alone against the storm.” I’d LOVE a chat line!
Warmly,
Jean Marie
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Jean Marie – I’m, glad you enjoy my perspective and I always appreciate it when you do comment! And wait – are you thinking like a chat line where bloggers could chat? Cause that would be amazing. 💜
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh Olivia, isn’t it funny how often people think we’re like jigsaw pieces that just go together (oh dear, now I’ve got that Grease song stuck in my head! 😉 ), because we’re Dom and sub? I remember Sir Jon (assuming it’s the same one) and I do remember my own run-ins with him. Truthfully told, as you rightly say, we are who we are and we like what we like. I still have my husband/Daddy in my life, as well as my Dom friend, Sir JGood, they’re enough for me to be happy with right now. Sir JGood doesn’t set me tasks or give me directions, he is only a friend to me, but sometimes a friend is all we need.
Your direction sounds good, and I hope you find success. I myself have been thinking about rejoining Fetlife, but it’s not an immediate priority. Above all else, for me it will just be about making like-minded friends.
Be well my friend, and take care.
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True – we are not like jigsaw pieces! I’m glad that you still have the pieces you want in your life, and are happy with how things are. You’re right, friends are good too – a Dom and a friend sounds about right!
As for Fetlife -yeah it’s still a hot mess. I wouldn’t make it priority either. But if you get back on, look me up.
Thanks for the supportive words! You take care too. 💜
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I shall do, Olivia! I haven’t got that far yet but I plan to before the week is up 🙂
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Cool!!
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