But as It Turned Out

/ olivia

As it turned out, my new fetlife friend was not as big a jerk as he first seemed.

Earlier, when we had chatted on Fet, he had said that he thought we were compatible. After his anti-seductive message that I shared on the blog yesterday, I messaged him back:

I hate to say this, but I don’t think we really are compatible.  I was looking at your profile again, after reading your message, and saw that you said you were looking for a slave or a sub.  But you didn’t say you were a Dom, so I shouldn’t be surprised that you aren’t.

I am definitely into submitting and if I were looking for someone, it would need to be a Dom.  So in terms of sexual kink, I don’t think we are compatible.  Which is too bad, because you seemed like a nice person.

To which he replied:

I see

I’m not the mean strict type. It’s disappointing

And I sighed, a huge sigh. Because really? That’s your response? That kind of “Poor me, nice guys never win” nonsense? And I almost didn’t respond at all.

But I really didn’t want to leave it at that. So finally, I wrote:

“You are welcome to tell yourself that’s the problem. But you didn’t make any effort to find out what I wanted before you got started.  So you’ll never actually know what the problem might have been.  Maybe you’re right, maybe you’re not, it doesn’t matter because I don’t want someone who gets started without checking to see if I want to go in that direction or not. 

I hope you find what you’re looking for.

I thought I might get some ugly response back. But he wrote:

Looks like I missed out on a real opportunity for a connection due to a false assumption on my part. I was definitely wrong by not having a two way communication with you on what you need and are looking for. I sincerely apologize.

Whoa! That was a terrific surprise! Of course I accepted his apology, and we’ve chatted a bit since.

I still don’t think we’re compatible. And I haven’t forgotten his clumsy, ill-timed effort. But his apology rings true and I appreciate someone who can admit they were wrong without belaboring the point or making a crappy apology.

I love it when people surprise me with their basic goodness. Which is why I had to come back to tell y’all … the rest of the story.

Photo by Sebastian Voortman on Pexels.com

14 thoughts on “But as It Turned Out”

  1. I have enjoyed your writing as of late. Here’s an opportunity for something different. “The Gentle Dom.” Imagine, Sir, administering some well-deserved spankings. The sub reflexively reaches her hand back to cover her bottom only to get her knuckles hit by Daddy’s paddle. The sub cries out and the sensitive Don immediately drops the paddle, putting his hands to his face and crying. “Oh my dear are your is your hand okay?” and immediately begins to rub it. The veteran sub slowly turns her head back towards the freshman Dom as if to say, “Who are you?”

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  2. One of the reasons I dislike O.L.D. is how 2 dimensional communication is when it’s just text based. I think there’s more than one way to interpret I’m not the mean strict type. It’s disappointing than Poor me, nice guys never win”. One can be disappointed without feeling victimised. And is he disappointed about not being compatible with a super sexy sub or not being able to channel his inner vicious bastard.
    In the same way, what I’ve just said could be read in the voice of an angry incel or someone who mourns the societal shift towards personal introductions being inherently impersonal.
    Amyway. I’m glad you both managed to kiss and make up, even if you didn’t kiss and get tied up.

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  4. Hi Olivia,

    It’s so eary for misiterpretation via text. I’m glad you continued the conversation and perhaps now have a better understanding, even if you aren’t compatible.

    Hugs,

    Roz

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