What About the Kinky Stuff?

/ olivia

Oh, right, this is my kinky blog. Hmmmm, let’s see…

Well, neither of my two workshop proposals for Sex Down South were accepted. That was disappointing. However – in an interesting twist of fate – my friend Angel’s proposal was accepted!! So that’s awesome. Some of you may know Angel – she used to comment here a lot (you know, back when i wrote a lot.) And she’s the publisher of Juicy Bits: Erotic Stories of BDSM, Fetish & Kink, which has several of my stories in it, and lots of other great stories. If any of my readers are going to Sex Down South, you can use her code (ANGEL) to get a $60 discount on the event fee.

So I thought I might go to the conference anyhow, and get to hang out with Angel, which I would really love to do. But. The hotel is expensive. The transportation to get there is tricky – I don’t have my own vehicle anymore, I’m sharing with MP. Even if I did drive up, the cost of parking is expensive. Flying would be expensive. Sigh The workshop is reasonable, but still… then there’s food. I’m getting better financially, but not exactly thriving yet. So I could justify it if I were presenting a workshop, but since I’m not, I was feeling really hesitant.

Then – do youall remember back in the spring of 2022 when I was supposed to go to a writer’s workshop that I was over-the-top thrilled about? But the first night I got there, I had chest pains and ended up in the hospital, right? And it was not a heart attack, it was actually stress, which still pisses me off since I make a living helping people reduce and manage stress. Anyhow, I didn’t get to do the workshop, I came home and made changes in my home situation instead.

So, whether you remember that or not, the woman who was offering that retreat is doing another one, on dreams this time, in September. Dreams like in the ones we have at night and how to tap into that power of the subconcious. Anyhow, she offered me a space in the workshop, which includes the room, the 4 day workshop and all meals, for free. The only thing I have to cover is transportation there and home.

So I’m doing that. It’s in the mountains, which will be different for me, and I think it will be really interesting. There’s lots of down time too at the retreat so I’ll have time to go for walks, to read, to write, and contemplate life.

If I win the lottery before September, I’ll do Sex Down South too. But that’s – well, you know, it’s a long shot at best.

Plus. If we’re talking libido…

Nothing is happening between MP and me anymore. We held out as long as we could – maybe as long as he could. But y’all… he’s not a Dom. The drive to do TTWD doesn’t originate from him. He gets interested in blocking anyone else – or at least being involved if someone else is interested in me But without that extra impetus, he just loses steam.

It’s ok. He’s still a sweet man. But it had become pretty perfunctory, and (from my perspective) lacking real intimacy. I had been feeling less and less invested so when he stopped it was almost a relief. I’m ok in my relationship with him, that’s just not a part of it. I knew this would happen too.

At the moment, I’m not even doing fantasy in my own head. Which is another reason – maybe the main reason – I opted out of SDS. I just don’t think I have the psychic energy to be there – to be in it and yet not of it. I think it would crush me.

But I don’t despair, so I hope you don’t give up on me either. Life goes on, right? Possible plot twists are always just around the corner.

25 thoughts on “What About the Kinky Stuff?”

  2. Hi Olivia, it’s so good to hear from you, I have been wondering how you are. I’m glad it sounds like you are settled work wise from your previous post.

    I’m sorry you wont be going to the conference, but the retreat sounds awesome.

    it’s a shame you and MP are no longer practicing kink. I’m curious, do you the benefits to your relationship you gained have remained on some level? We have been on/off with kink so many times and found the benefits, such as a deeper connection have remained during the off periods.

    Hugs

    Roz

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    • ROZ! I was just thinking about you and wondering how you were doing. It’s good to see you here.

      Yeah, I think work-wise and retreat-wise I’m in good shape. Thanks for the support.

      Yes, I think there is a better connection between us. I’m not sure it’s deeper but before this round of kink we were pretty much disconnected. You know, there have been times that I felt soo trapped, I was just miserable. I don’t feel that way anymore, and he isn’t disengaged, just waiting to die (as he put it.) We’re planning a week-end away so that’s cool and are talking more and doing more things. So yes. The benefits have lingered, and that’s good. I’m glad that’s been true for you too! 💜

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    • Yeah, I think the retreat will be fun. Thanks for the empathy – I appreciate it.! I just read your last post about your daughter and am thinking that life is just hard. Holding you both in my thoughts. 💜

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