Grab your favorite cheese, some grapes, or apple and pear if you prefer. Maybe some fancy bread to go with it, I’ve got the whine covered. Welcome.
Ok, this might sound weird, but I feel like a supporting character in the sit-com of my life. Or maybe it’s a family drama – some kind of pathetic “The Waltons” knock off.
I know things I can do to get out of this funk, well, maybe anyhow. But am I doing any of them? Hell, no. I’m not sure if I’m too sad or too angry to do anything, but I’m not doing a thing.
I keep withdrawing more and more and then I’m pissed off cause it seems like no one sees me. But you know, if I don’t see myself, why would I expect anyone else to?
I don’t know if it’s because I’m old? That might be it. But I guess maybe I’m depressed. I go days without leaving the house any more. The weather is beautiful and I’ll look outside and think about it, but then I don’t do anything. Some of the time, that’s because my day is so broken up with work and kids and stuff and sometimes it seems like it’s all work. And MP talking to me. Talking about whatever goes through his mind in the moment.
Sometimes, it seems like he and my daughter are both about an inch away from breakdowns and it’s up to me to fill in the cracks. I don’t want to do it anymore. And I don’t know how to quit doing it, or maybe I just won’t stop doing it.
If this were a Hallmark movie – oh, if it were a hallmark movie it would be about my daughter and how she finds love and lives happily ever after. I’m the grandmother in the background watching the kids so she can date.
Anyhow. I’ve got a client now in five minutes. And this is probably enough of a whine for today.