Recalculating…

/ olivia

Do any of you remember when MapQuest, or whatever app it was back in the day, used to let you know you’d gone the wrong way by saying, in a judgmental tone of voice, “RECALCULATING…” before it gave you new directions. Sometimes it told you to make a u-turn, sometimes it just sent you around the block, but whatever it told you, you knew that you had gone astray and had to get back on track.

My navigation apps no longer announce that I’ve gone the wrong way, they just quietly change the directions. Life hardly ever announces that I’ve take a wrong turn either. But sometimes I notice I’m being pulled away from the path I was on.

All of which is a gentle introduction to my latest life announcement – Sir Jon and I are no longer in a D/s relationship.

Often, people’s next question is, “what happened?” Well, I don’t really know. Sir Jon had been pretty wonderful. Thoughtful and caring, mixed with his style of sadistic Dominance. Just my cup of tea.

Except I woke up one morning and realized, I didn’t want to. Didn’t want to wear thongs every day or put clothespins on my nipples or be trained with butt plugs. Not “I didn’t want to” in a sexy, please-make-me-Sir way. “I didn’t want to,” is a matter of fact, “no, thank you” way.

So I don’t know what happened. Sir Jon hadn’t done anything wrong. Honestly, I thought, well, maybe I’m not really submissive. Or maybe I just like writing about it, reading about it, living the fantasy. I don’t know.

But I told Sir Jon how I was feeling. He was so understanding and kind about it. We agreed to separate and remain friends – which is where we are today.

So here I am, once again, Recalculating…

15 thoughts on “Recalculating…”

  1. I recall reading about why Jon had to leave this blog suddenly and about the connection you both shared.
    That’s when I discovered your blog and started reading your stories. I truly love your writing style, those stories, and the way you express yourself 👏😍

    I also read some of Jon’s stories and poetry…they were beautiful. He always had a way of engaging with his audience.

    Liked by 4 people

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  2. As I said when we discussed this, Olivia, we are what we are and can be nothing else. I’m very glad we remain connected and comfortable with reading and commenting on each other’s blogs, etc. Thank you for the graceful and kind way you explained this.

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  3. Doors open and doors close, and the world continues on. I admire how you’ve handled this ending. Wishing you both joy, as you move forward as friends ❤

    Liked by 5 people

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    • Thanks so much, Nora! The world does go on – and I feel like I”ve reached a stage in life when staying connected with myself is the most important thing I can do. Listening to myself, and doing the next right thing….

      You make me think about some lines from a song by Ani DiFranco, Joyful Girl. She says:

      I do it for the joy it brings
      ‘Cause I’m a joyful girl
      ‘Cause the world owes me nothing
      And we owe each other the world

      Thanks for the good wishes! 💜

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  5. I am sorry to hear about you and Sir Jon, Olivia, and I am sending you BIG hugs. I can’t say it better than nora did down below – she has a knack for knowing exactly what to say! “Wishing you both joy, as you move forward as friends.” Much love. 💗

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