On the Eve…

/ olivia

Noooo, not On the Eve of Destruction (although I did have to pause my writing and play the song real quickly.). But no, I’m not even going to share that video here. I’m talking about New Year’s Eve!

I have a New Year gift for you – a resource really. If you’re into reviewing your year and planning for the next year, you might enjoy this: Year Compass. It offers a series of questions to consider as we let go of last year and move into a new year. (Of course, you could do it any time throughout the year if you wanted to.)

Anyhow,. I am doing some fun things in the new year. Take a 3 session workshop/class on witchcraft. Do some things with my grandkids. Finish the very few edits I need to do and publish my book, if I can get out of my own way long enough to do it. Maybe I’ll get my Very Vanilla Substack started. No, that’s not the actual name of it!

I’d like to see if I can break this crappy pattern I have going on with MP and my daughter. I just need to figure out what to do that will be actually doing something different for me, while not expecting a different response from them. In any case, I will do what I think is right for me, and try to keep my eyes on that focus.

This time last year, I was tumbling passionately into submission with Sir Jon. And if a similar opportunity presented itself – I would 100% go for it. Even if I knew it was going to end in a crash and burn.

But I’m not holding my breath waiting for it to happen, or out hustling on street corners to find someone. I’m going to (try to) quit judging how I feel or don’t feel my submission and just let myself be who I am for a while.

Beyond all of that, I will try to be a lighthouse, a beacon of safety and peace, a compassionate corner – all of that and more, in a world that is likely to be even more unpredictable, unsafe, and cruel than it usually is.

Wishing you all the joy in the New Year!

15 thoughts on “On the Eve…”

  1. Wishing you a happy and safe New Year.

    Thank you for the gift, took a quick look at YearCompass and found it interesting.
    I created a booklet, downloaded it and we’ll see how it goes.

    The coming year I am hoping/wanting it to be a year of change.
    I know most people don’t like change but I am ready to embrace it.

    Seems you have a number of things to work towards in the coming year.
    Props and best wishes.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Thanks, John, I hope your New Year’s Eve was fun – and safe!

      I’m so glad you though the YearCompass was interesting! I hope you enjoy working with it.

      I hope you’re able to make the changes you want to make over this next year, and that they bring you pleasure and satisfaction – or whatever it is you’re looking for!

      I do have things to work towards! I guess that’s part of what keeps us going, right? Thanks for the good wishes. 💜

      Like

      Reply

  3. Being a bulwark of kindness is always an admirable goal at any time, so I tip my hat to your intention!

    I would just add that I am growing increasingly baffled by the sheer weight of insistence from so many that this current time is somehow exceptionally worse than other times. I’m just curious about what prior epoch people are referring to, since I can’t think of any that were very much better and countless examples of ones that were far far worse?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Thanks for the hat tip, KD!

      I’m a little bit surprised by you being baffled about why we think these times are exceptionally worse than others. I have to agree with you that there are lots of eras that were worse – during slavery, during the Holocaust, even just when women weren’t allowed to vote or hold property. I suspect if we go further into this conversation, we’ll discover that we are on opposite sides of the big divide iof American culture. Or maybe you don’t live in the US at all and things are fine where you are. If you think Trump was a great choice for president, that abortion should be illegal, that immigrants should be deproted, and laws should support rich people getting richer, then we just have very different values. If you don’t think that those things are happening, then we’re getting our information from such different sources that it’s as we’re living in parallel realities.

      In any case, thank you for commenting! It’s always good to see you here.

      Like

      Reply

      • Thanks for the reply. Let me try to address your points. First, I live in NJ and it is currently 2025. Life expectancy is at an all-time high GLOBALLY. Infant mortality at an all-time low. Unemployment is down and wages are up. Admittedly inflation is too, but that is perennial. All one has to do is look at prices at any past point and they will almost always be lower.

        I’ve lived my entire life without ever having had to go to war. Many other generations were not nearly as lucky. What I can eat and drink surpasses the choices I had even in my own lifetime.

        In NJ, abortion is available to those who choose that option and likely will always be. Others got what they voted for. Which brings us to Trump. He won both the popular vote and the Electoral College. Clearly a majority of Americans wanted this buffoon for their President and now they have him. And I do think it will lead to some nasty things……but……I think people NEED to see what he does, and have to live with it for anything to change. There is no reasoning with a Trumper. There’s an old saying that in a democracy people get the government they deserve. This was never truer than it is today. The only way out of Trumpism is to give him free rein and let his supporters see the consequences. Think of it as amputating a limb to save a life.

        Being a human unfortunately means being inexorably tethered to other human beings and frankly, most are not terribly bright nor well informed, it’s like being trapped on a boat being run by morons and there’s no safe way off…….even as rapids or a waterfall loom. However, the boat we are on right now is by historical standards a pretty nice one, so I’m going to just sit back and enjoy a good meal and the ‘show’. (Today I am already grinning at what a Trump voter thinks of his remarks on Greenland and Canada? ) Will there be rough water ahead? Probably, but likely no worse than things that happened in the past.

        I would recommend listening to some lectures by Steven Pinker for perspective.

        I hope that explains my earlier comment. You see I lived through protests, assassinations, race riots, students being shot on campus, the rich getting richer, people beating up homosexuals for fun, women being kept out of certain jobs, and while some things are still an issue, no sane person can reasonably claim they are worse now than they were before. Like I said, I can accept a certain apprehension for what may come, but please tell me when things were significantly better?

        Liked by 2 people

      • Your response does make it more clear where you’re coming from, KD. Thanks for that.

        I lived through all those times you described as well, so I have that perspective. I remember the heart break of Kent State and all of those events. And I don’t see any point in arguing about whether that was worse than all the mass shooting, especially school shootings, that are happening now. I understand that things don’t get better on a straight path and that historically we’ve survived hard times before.

        I’m not a fan of evolutionary psychology, but I appreciate the historical perspective of Heather Cox Richardson that helps keep me balanced. And I didn’t actually say that these are the worst of times, but yes, I am concerned.

        One thing you said really helped me see where we differ. You said, ” the boat we are on right now is by historical standards a pretty nice one, so I’m going to just sit back and enjoy a good meal and the ‘show”.

        That made me think about a quote I’ve seen: “We are all in the same storm, but we are not all in the same boat

        The show you’re watching will include people I care about being hurt. In Georgia, which is where I live, abortion is illegal – not because people voted for that, but yes, because our state representatives did. Women have already died here because of the anti-abortion laws, and they disbanded the maternal mortality committee that tracked the data because that information was made public. I’m not saying nothing like that has happened before, but I’m distressed by the fact that it’s happening now.

        I’m close to people who work closely with immigrants and they’ll suffer. My own family was impacted by Trump’s immigration stance in his last term.

        I don’t think they’ll really eliminate Social Security for old people,, but if they do, my boat is sunk. I won’t have the option of watching the show – lol, I’m gonna be in the show.

        I work with people whose families are so divided over these issues that they don’t speak to each other anymore. That’s the kind of struggle that I want to bring compassion and kindness to. I don’t want to hate Trump supporters or have only disdain for them. I also don’t want to excuse terrible behavior or act like what they believe is right.

        For me, it’s not about this being the worst time ever. It is a difficult time. Not all of that is about Trump. Some of it is realizing how many people think it’s ok to have a president who has sexually assaulted women, realizing how many people really don’t see women as – as people, I guess. The trial of the men who raped Gisele Pelicot really brought that home to me, and that had nothing to do with Trump. Of course this isn’t new, but there’s something particularly painful about feeling like we had made progress and then discovering that, no, apparently not.

        So it’s not the worst of times, but for some of us, it will still be some more difficult times.

        Like

  4. HellO all

    Random thoughts that I had while reading these comments.

    History pulls us back and forth. It always has, your point of progress not being a straight line is accurate as in my own life I’ve seen vast changes and then back slides in my own homeland. KD Pierre’s point that we get the government we deserve is one I’ve often said myself. A phrase I’ve heard is “We’re ruled by the least of us.” I wish that didn’t strike a chord, but it does. We do need to learn our lessons, the bad leaders teach us what we don’t want and can’t afford, but I don’t think we are learning. We make our mistakes, then we make them again. My fear is that the people who need to learn those lessons and the people who will suffer (and in some cases die) are not the same people.

    The point that times have been bad before always strikes me as a fallacy. Are we to accept a broken finger as a positive because broken legs exist? Are we to consider now to be good because then was worse?

    However, as we see the world fall into ruin around us, we need to remember that in every act of kindness, every time we go against this mean-spirited age we find ourselves in, we defy it. Once long ago things were worse, true, but that also means that one day, we’ll look back on this day as a time we moved past. If we treat one another well, we make just a piece of that better time. The road to hell may be paved with good intentions, but maybe the opposite road is paved with good actions.

    Like

    Reply

    • Good post! We must have been writing simultaneously, since I only saw it after I finished mine. I wish had seen it before, but it is ironic that without having seen it, it does overlap with much of what you said.

      One point of clarification is that the broken finger point is a false equivalency. The point of seeing progress is not to condone what still needs fixing, but to accept that progress has been made. A better analogy would be a person brought into the ER and once their life-threatening issues have been resolved, we can settle down to address that finger…..but with the appreciation of the patient understanding that while the finger hurts, a few hours ago, their entire life was on the line. Too many of our brainwashed social warriors think this is the worst time ever. And I’m sick of hearing that…….mainly because as I pointed out …..it’s simply not true or even close to true.

      My original comment was in reaction to reading posts from a variety of sources all despairing over our current ‘worst of times’.

      That said……there IS one area where that is likely tragically true, and that is with the environment.

      But other than that, our current ‘division’ is about the same as it’s always been and actually better than when we were actively shooting one another over it.

      I think historical perspectives are different for people where some say, “It’s better now than back when the Black Death wiped out a third of Europe”, while others say, “It was better in the 50’s”, while still others say, “I had more money to spend two years ago.” Our history as individuals tends to emotionally outweigh the bigger picture. But even as a species, in relative terms of life on this planet, we are still, collectively a blink in time.

      As I said earlier, ‘good exchange!’. Thanks!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    • Thanks for your response, KM. I particularly love the last paragraph, and couldn’t agree more. I think that’s really what I was saying in that last part of my post. If we can show up with kindness and compassion, it tilts the balance of the universe just that tiny bit.

      And this: “The road to hell may be paved with good intentions, but maybe the opposite road is paved with good action” really speaks to me.

      💜

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  5. This is a good exchange, and we don’t disagree about the essence, just the strategy to deal with it. And while your boat analogy is clever, it is inaccurate. We are not in different boats, though I will say that we are not all in the same accommodations …….with some having luxury suites while some of us are in basic cabins, while still others are in steerage. But the boat (call it the USS Earth) is the same for all of us…….just like the Titanic.

    I also disagree about you saying that people in Georgia did not vote for the anti-abortion measure, but rather their representative. So how did he become the representative? No….it’s not him, nor Trump, nor whoever’s name you want to list. It’s people all the time! And they are dangerously stupid as a whole with only rare exceptions of enlightened, compassionate intelligence.

    I too know people who might suffer under Trump, including myself! I also know people who will suffer who voted FOR him, and sadly others who will suffer who didn’t. (same boat, right?) But I’m not going to spend the next four years wringing my hands over it all. What good will anyone’s ‘worry’ do? And besides, as I said…….it is not him that we should be concerned over. It’s our fellow humans all throughout the planet.

    Instead, I will do what I can to be fair with those around me, be a good host, a good husband, father, grandfather, and friend, and just do what I can. In RL I am a polite person who gets angry over the rampant bad manners around me. I am ashamed of a society that has given up on shaming bad behavior out of fear. It used to be our best nonviolent tool to establish acceptable manners…….and it’s gone. Instead, we see shaming online for the stupidest things. We have it all backwards…..and it’s all our own faults.

    I currently have a very dark view of humanity. I see ‘homo sapiens’ as a kind of failed accident of evolution, doomed to be doomed. I could write extensively on why but suffice it to say, I don’t see it as choice but rather a product of evolution. I truly believe that of all lifeforms that could have developed consciousness, primates had to be one of the worst possibilities……..as evidenced by us. So, as we destroy the environment, and ourselves in the process, we can take comfort in that our extinction will be the best thing to ever happen to this planet. It’s going to be a real shit-show when the environment disintegrates, and I see Trump as the cartoon short before the feature presentation……and I intend to head out to the lobby for a cocktail to have while watching it all. (And I am known to cry at movies.)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • I’m thinking now that you have a much bleaker view of the world than I do!

      But it doesn’t matter. All any of us can do is show up in alignment with our own values and try to live a life that makes a difference in whatever way we feel called to do.

      I was amused when I saw this part of your comment to KM: “My original comment was in reaction to reading posts from a variety of sources all despairing over our current ‘worst of times’.” That gives me so much context for your comment! Cause I didn’t say anything like that about this being the worst of times in my post. But it’s been interesting to hear your thoughts.

      Like

      Reply

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.