I love to dance. I took dance classes from when I was 4 years old (ballet, tap, and acrobatics) til I was about 15, at which point I was too cool for anything except jazz or “modern dance.’

Even though I was only 13 in 1969, my basic dance style is still based on the 60’s the twist the locomotion, the swim and the hitchhikerT. (Video from youtube entitled Dance Styles of the 60s.)

Of course, I no longer move with quite the grace and energy of my late teens and early twenties. Or even quite as enthusiastically as I did in my 40s, when I discovered line dancing at a blues bar with my boyfriend. Ah, the joy of doing The Slide to a bluesy renditon of Stand By Me… These days, I’m more likely to be dancing with my broom, the music of my youth blasting through my earbuds as I clean house. And that’s ok too.

As I move into a new transition period, I need that energy of dance – not just when I’m cleaning, but when I’m still, allowing the energy to flow into me, grounding me, reconnecting me with myself. I have retracted, withdrawn myself from a lot of the activities and interests that I had been enjoying, discovering that they were no longer serving me. Not that there was anything wrong with them; they just weren’t for me anymore.

A time of rediscovery. Re-centering, re-grounding. How many times have I talked about this here? Over and over, I find myself, and lose myself, and find myself again.

I had a reading done lately – a free reading from Human Design. It generated a report based on my birthdate, time and all that. It was fun to read, and of course, some of it resonated with me a lot. I won’t share the details. Suffice to say, I got the image of me just wandering through life, experimenting with how things work and trying to figure it all out, while there are actually people who think I somehow know what I’m doing and look to me for some kind of direction, guidance, and answers! Y’all. This is so true.

And, in fairness, that works really well for me as a therapist or a coach. People feel like I can help, like maybe I have some answers, and they let me reflect themselves back to them so they can find their own answers.

Also, (this is no shock) when I’m not at my best, I’m afraid of not pleasing people and I’m afraid of failure in general. Yep. I felt so seen. No surprise really, but it’s nice hearing who I am reflected back to me.

Oh! My report said that “your energy works best when you are in response to something that is already happening. Even though you have been conditioned to go out and make things happen, this is not the best use of your energy.” THIS is what I’m talking about when I say my sexuality is responsive. That made me feel validated. So satisfying…

Anyhow. I started this weekend thinking I would follow the example of KM at A Quirky Shambles and do a 5 for Friday post, but then Friday got away from me, so I didn’t. Maybe next week. Because, despite my ongoing states of transition, there is a lot of good in my life every day.