Too Much Candy

/ olivia

Have you ever eaten too much candy – or cake – or whatever treat really excites you? And then after you’ve kind of gorged on it (gross word, but so descriptive) then you feel kind of half sick and you sort of wish you hadn’t done that? That has definitely happened to me.

And I kind of did that today too. Only instead of sweet or savory treats, it was BDSM stories. Sigh. First I read a bunch of Jon Master’s stories and got all turned on, then I went over to Vesta’s blog, Vesta’s Submission, and read her story about The Training School. It’s from back in 2010, and yet parts of it have stuck with me so strongly that they still pop up in my fantasies from time to time.

By then, I was so turned on, it was ridiculous. But I couldn’t really do anything about it because, you know, there’s not much privacy here. So I thought I’d wait until tonight. Which would have been fine, but I was all stirred up. And that made me cranky.

So I snapped at my daughter, who just stared at me in shock, cause I hardly ever do that. I figured I’d better get out of the house before I started snapping at MP too. So I went for a brisk walk (temps in the 50’s – which, you know, is Georgia cold.). And I started feeling better.

Except then I felt bad because there were other things I could have spent time on this afternoon that would have been more productive. Instead, I gorged on kink and felt discontent. Part of that discontent is just unrealistic beliefs. Like if I were really in a kinky relationship, I wouldn’t have to worry about all the stuff I worry about, I would just have to obey my Sir and do whatever he said and everything would be ok.

Um, I’m 99.9% sure that’s not how it actually works. So then I fussed at myself for being super unrealistic and wanting to avoid my real life. And I came home. Sigh.

11 thoughts on “Too Much Candy”

  3. Sighs. I feel a lot of empathy for you, my friend. I’ve had to learn this lesson time and time again. In a period of discontent, I broke things off with my Sir… thinking life should be all spankings and kneeling all the time, which just isn’t realistic. We create so much of our own suffering at times! Anyhow… I hope you finally do get that climax this evening. XOXO

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    • Thanks, Nora. I know you get it. I think it’s human nature to long for more, to cling to the pleasant and want to avoid unpleasant things – and that does cause a lot of our suffering. Thank goodness, I’ve gotten better at letting those feelings come and go (you know, like waves in the ocean.) And yep, a little nighttime release always helps!

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  4. Hi Olivia,

    I’m sorry your day went the way it did. This is kind of a test comment as I have been reading but having trouble being able to comment for some reason.

    The snippet you wrote is so titillating and hot! And Jon’s version from the pov of the Dom also.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    • ROZ! I’m so glad to see you! And sorry that you had trouble commenting! The second post I did that you didn’t comment on, I got worried about you. But I found you commenting on fondles blog, so I knew you were ok, which was a relief. Hi!

      Glad you liked the snippet and Jon’s version as well! I think I am talking in all exclamation marks this morning… But I am just that glad to see you. 💜

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  5. That build-up with no release can be a nightmare when you’re falling down the rabbit hole of give me more especially when the release really needs someone else. I think it’s worse still when it comes to sex, as you can get some release by yourself, but that’s only the half of it.

    I’m not up to speed on your blog yet, so I hope you’re getting some of what you need.

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    • Hi, AM! Thanks so much for reading and for commenting! It’s nice to meet you. It sounds like you can empathize a bit with with what I was saying!

      I ran over to look at your blog, of course, and was glad to see that your life is moving forward – good for you. When you said that your blog “had become an echo chamber for (your) his unhappiness.” it really resonated with me. Sometimes I think that’s what this blog is. Fortunately, interspersed, I think, with enough fantasy and good times to make up for it.

      Anyhow. Thanks for popping in!!

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