Warning: If you were googling Buddhist something and found this, this is probably not where you want to be. This is an irreverent look at the (mostly imaginary) intersection between Buddhism and kink. I hope that it is done with enough respect that it’s not actually offensive.

Continuing my journey at the Buddhist temple, I attended the Beginner’s class last night. It was really an orientation session. We learned how to place our hands in greeting and in meditation and many other things.

We learned about posture: Torso kept straight, neither bent nor leaning forward. Shoulders pulled back to open torso, but without puffing out the chest. Neck in a natural position, in line with the spine, with the chin tucked in slightly. Tongue touching the palate lightly, just behind the upper teeth. In the image below, that’s me in the chair. Ok, I don’t have a beard, but just to be clear, I’m not sitting on the floor.

Anyhow. None of that is laughable. But we’re sitting there – about 5 of us newbies, just holding our posture – and the instructor says, “So if it’s ok, I’m going to check your posture now.”

And he pulls out THIS:

Yes. It’s a big stick. The one in the picture looks rounded, but the one he had looked flat. Yes, like a big ole paddle.

Um, ok, come check my posture?

I’m pretty sure my eyes got big. Maybe other people’s did too, because he quickly said, “No one gets hit with this.”

I sighed a tiny “Whew” of relief. And I don’t think I was the only one!! Even though, of course, I knew he was not paddling anybody. I managed not to giggle either, which was good.

But if you want to laugh – snicker, chuckle, giggle, whatever – I don’t blame you a bit.