Grab your favorite cheese, some grapes, or apple and pear if you prefer. Maybe some fancy bread to go with it, I’ve got the whine covered. Welcome.
Ok, this might sound weird, but I feel like a supporting character in the sit-com of my life. Or maybe it’s a family drama – some kind of pathetic “The Waltons” knock off.
I know things I can do to get out of this funk, well, maybe anyhow. But am I doing any of them? Hell, no. I’m not sure if I’m too sad or too angry to do anything, but I’m not doing a thing.
I keep withdrawing more and more and then I’m pissed off cause it seems like no one sees me. But you know, if I don’t see myself, why would I expect anyone else to?
I don’t know if it’s because I’m old? That might be it. But I guess maybe I’m depressed. I go days without leaving the house any more. The weather is beautiful and I’ll look outside and think about it, but then I don’t do anything. Some of the time, that’s because my day is so broken up with work and kids and stuff and sometimes it seems like it’s all work. And MP talking to me. Talking about whatever goes through his mind in the moment.
Sometimes, it seems like he and my daughter are both about an inch away from breakdowns and it’s up to me to fill in the cracks. I don’t want to do it anymore. And I don’t know how to quit doing it, or maybe I just won’t stop doing it.
If this were a Hallmark movie – oh, if it were a hallmark movie it would be about my daughter and how she finds love and lives happily ever after. I’m the grandmother in the background watching the kids so she can date.
Anyhow. I’ve got a client now in five minutes. And this is probably enough of a whine for today.
Olivia 
If only life was a Hallmark movie sometimes Olivia. I,m sorry you are in a funk. It’s hard to get out of sometimes., and hard to do the things we need to do to. Change aint easy.
(((Hugs)))
Roz
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Right? A Hallmark movie or a Nora Roberts trilogy. Thanks for the support – it’s not easy! But I need to do it… again and again and again, apparently! 💜
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It’s all the pandemic’s fault. All the things, i.e. simple pleasures, that we used to take for granted, have been limited by TCT. Took some time off from work the last couple of weeks. Remember, that I’m an essential, which in it’s self has become a bit of a curse. Went off to the mountains, stayed in a cabin, and did some fun stuff. For ten days, forgot all about corona, politics, and hurricanes. Instead, enjoyed life as it was pre-covid. Hiking, ziplining, riding horses, and just doing whatever felt like the right thing to do. Tell you what Olivia, it was fucking exhilarating. Of course we had to wear masks and have the occasional temperature check, but I came back to the regular routine with a clear head and a much improved attitude. IMO, I really don’t think your age has anything to do with the frustration and tension you’re dealing with right now. I think you’re just feeling trapped, or kind of backed into a corner, and your survival instinct is kicking in. Hang in there, and I know that it’s hard, but things will get better. Hugs to ya!!
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Oh! I think you might be right. It sounds like you had a wonderful time. And I do feel trapped, in too many ways. But we’re going away this weekend and that should be fun, and maybe that will help too. And yes. Things will get better. I’m going to believe that. 💜 Thank you!!
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Have a great trip and enjoy your weekend Oliva!
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Thank you!! 💜
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I’m sorry you are having a tough time! I hope the sun shines upon you again soon, my friend ❤
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Thanks, Nora, I’m sure it will. Just because it feels like forever doesn’t mean it is… 💜
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I hear you. I believe I can relate, though brought on my different circumstances. Hopefully your time away will act as some sort of a reset in which you can build upon.
💗willie
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Thanks Wilma! Sorry that you can relate to this, but appreciate the support! 💜💜. And a little break will surely help.
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