All Good Things…

/ olivia

On May 7, 2010, I wrote my first kinky blog post on my first kinky blog. It said:

“This is my first post!  O, my. 

Ok, this is a blog about me, a****.  And Sir.  And submission – mine; the dominance is His.  But you probably already guessed that.

i am just beginning to figure out how this blog works.  Now to see if i can post a picture…“

That was 10 years ago. Good grief. And I’ve known some of y’all that long, since that first blog when I was still new to the world of kink and new to the cyber-world of blogs. I’ve grown old here in BlogLand.

My life is not the same life I had in 2010. I’m reading a book now that casually suggests that most of us make a major life change every 3-5 years. That would mean I’ve had 2 or 3 big shifts since then, and for sure, that’s true. Career paths, lovers, and blogs.

When I started, I was super secret with my kink, and there was lots of kink to be secret with. The blog was a place to explore all my feelings about what I was doing and thinking and feeling. That first blog had all the energy and enthusiasm of the novice.

In that blog, I went through a period of being pretty open in the kink community where I lived and even traveled to some regional and national events. I met some amazing people, learned from some terrific gurus, and experienced some incredible highs – and lows. I would not change a minute of it.

Then my life changed, like a kaleidoscope, and I saw the world through a different lens. I turned away from the path I was on, wrenched myself away from my blog, and took a different direction. I also started a new blog to explore my experiences in a committed D/s relationship. Which, like many things, was great – until it wasn’t. Then of course it was less and less D/s and finally it wasn’t at all and I ended that blog.

And I started this blog. Olivia. If you’ve been reading a while, you already know the ups and downs of my life over these last – omigoodness, last 4 years! March 21, 2016 was my first post here. I said:

“Starting over, once again.  i don’t even look submissive here, do i?  But i am.  Trust me, i really am.

i don’t know what i’m going to do here.  Fantasy maybe.  We’ll see.

I know I’ve been on a 2 year decline in self-care and how i treat myself, in terms of being submissive and in terms of my own sexuality.  That stops now.  Somehow i’ve ended up way over weight, wearing granny panties and tennis shoes.  No more of that.

It took email from a guy who had a crush on me in high school, and an unpleasant incident with my partner, to wake me up.  But i’m awake now.”

And then there were 4 years worth of me trying to figure out who I am and what I needed. All of which brings me to here and now.

I don’t even think I’m submissive anymore. Or if I am, it doesn’t matter. MP is not going to be dominant and I’m not looking for anybody else, not now anyway.

This blog has been the place I come to be myself, where I’m not worried about getting judged or misunderstood. I can write about whatever I’m thinking, feeling or doing and feel confident that at least Roz will hear and understand. 💜 And often, I find that others will too.

But I need to bring that energy to my vanilla life. I need to show up there with all of myself. Ok, I don’t need to go public with any sex stuff or kink, but the rest of me needs to be there. So I need to go. I’m feeling all dramatic and angsty, but really I will miss youall dreadfully. If you want to stay connected in the vanilla world, let me know and we’ll figure out how to do that. You can email me for now at oliviahisservant@gmail.com.

I’ll leave the blog up. Someday, I might even pop in and play with the stories a bit. It would be fun to set them up so you could read the parts of each one together. Maybe someday down the road I’ll even finish Sofia and Lucas.

“What’s really transformative is our willingness to keep going, our openness to possibility, our patience, our effort, our humor, our growing self-knowledge, and the strength that we gain as we keep going.”
― Sharon Salzberg

I am not happy to tell you that the closing song for the Mickey Mouse show is playing in my head. I will spare you the music video. If you are old enough to remember it, it is probably already playing in your head now. Annette Funicello and all. 

"And now it's time to say good-bye to all our fam-i-ly,
M-I-C- See you real soon!
K-E-Y Why?  Because we love you!
M-O-U-S-E..."
  I really do love youall.  Thank you for being here and for helping me get to this point in my life.  💜  💜  💜

17 thoughts on “All Good Things…”

  2. Life changes all of us for sure, yet we usually adjust to what fits the best. Know what it’s like to get so caught up in the day to day and lose the spark. The burden sometimes seems unbearable. Seems like it has been forever since I actually posted something new. Have lots of drafts, but they all seem the same when I read and edit. Hope everything aligns for you and you break out of the funk that we all seem to have fallen into during TCT (love this acronym, thanks to you). Having been a follower for a couple iterations of your blog, I will miss your thoughts and stories, as I’m certain, will others. But our paths will likely cross again, and I will reach out via e-mail just to say hi. Wishing you all the best Olivia! Live every day of your life to the fullest, enjoy your time with the Grands, and stay safe. Hugs to ya!!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Thanks for the good wishes! I do follow your blog so when you post, I’ll be reading! I will miss you too, and hope you do reach out to say hi with email. Thank you again so much… 💜

      Like

      Reply

  3. Sending so much love. Its been a journey for all of us and these last TEN (omg!) years have brought many changes. I remember that newbie feeling with a sense of deep fondness. I remember going to my first munch with you and your Sir. Life has had many changes and challenges for us…and I’m so glad that we’ve been blog sisters for so long. And that i know you irl. And that you’re an AMAZING person in that real life. Blessings on the next leg of your journey. And my love and joy in having you as a friend.
    Nilla

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    • ‘Nilla!! I know. I went back and looked at your blog and saw that you started in 2009. Wow. And pictures of our visits to each other irl have been popping up on my FB lately, bringing back all kinds of memories. Thanks for all the kind words, and the blessings. I’m glad that we’re friends and heart-sisters too.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

  4. Selfishly, I am sad to see you go. I no longer comment much, but yours was one of the last blogs I still read. I do understand completely- after 8 years I took my blog down ( last year I think lol) as well.

    If you do decide someday to start a new blog ( seems to be a bit of a thing for you in the past at least) please let us know via this one.

    I hope you continue to search for the you you like best, dance in the rain, worship the moon and remember your time here with contentment. You will be missed.

    Willie

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Thank you, Willie, I’ve so enjoyed getting to know you and have appreciated your comments. If I do start a new blog, I will leave a trail here, for sure.

      I love that hope you express for me. I can’t really ask for more than that, can I? I will miss you too. 💜

      Like

      Reply

  5. Hi Olivia, this is sad news, but I understand. You have to do what is right for you. You will most definitely be missed. Please do let us know if you decide to blog again sometime in the future.

    I think we do go through many stages and changes. Part of the reason I haven’t blogged in so long. I didn’t feel I had anything much to say.

    Wishing you the very best. Take care.

    Hugs
    Roz

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Dear Roz, I have appreciated you soooo much. I will absolutely let you know if I start a new blog – do you want to know if it’s a vanilla blog too?

      We do go through a lot of changes, don’t we? If you ever decide to blog again, let me know!! I hope you’re well and healthy and happy and taking good care of yourself. Wishing you the very best too, and sending hugs… 💜

      Like

      Reply

  6. I am sad to see you go .I read everything you post and always enjoyed your stories and your views on life you seem like a real spirit. I hope you find success and happiness and stay healthy .If you ever write that book I know it will be good. … goodbye or keep in touch good luck .

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Thank you so much. I’m kind of sad to go too now, I will miss you all a lot. Take care of yourself and email me if you want to keep in touch. Thank you!! 💜

      Like

      Reply

  7. NO NO NO! *STAMPS FEET*

    Ok. I love you. I’m sad that you’re leaving. PLEASE TELL ME if you have another blog. vanilla. or chocolate. or passion fruit mint. I don’t care.

    I have tears in my eyes. Which makes me feel just a little bit silly right now. But well, it’s true.

    I’ll miss you terribly.

    FIND ME IN THE VANILLA WORLD please!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. This always makes me sad. 😦 No reason for it to, but it does. i’m glad you are leaving it up, for so many reasons. You already know All The Ways To Find me. 🙂 Still. And ten years ❤ That is really cool.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.