Here we are back to another week of FFF – where does the time go?
Steps – I’ve averaged 6,071 over the last 7 days, so that’s not terrible. I’ve noticed a pattern of doing really well on the weekends, pretty well on Mondays and Tuesdays and then going downhill over the rest of the week. I’d like to even that out, but maybe it’s more practical to increase what i’m doing on weekends and early in the week. Who knows…
My weeks pass in a semi-blur of work, (both jobs) grandkids, the house and pool, Sir, Facebook, sunrise at the beach, and spending time with my daughter or the couple of people i know here. Not necessarily in that order, but maybe mostly in that order. Oh, and my classes. i’m taking off work to go to class 8 hours/day next week – on-line, so everything else will still be here.
I’m grateful that i can take the time off to do it, and a bit sad that it’s not going to be an actual vacation. The last time off i took was to move. Also not exactly a vacation. Although i did take some time to enjoy, so i don’t need to complain.
Weight is in the same range as last week, which is fine. I’m feeling better about how i look and feel, so even though i want to lose more weight, it’s ok to do it more slowly. i have my appointment with my new doctor on Wednesday, and plan to talk about goals, both for exercise and such and nutrition.
I’ve been pondering submission, of course, and the submissive heart. i think that our dynamic – mine and Sir’s – is complicated by his physical issues. Well, i mean, of course it is in obvious ways. But also in terms of service. And then there’s just his own idiosyncrasies. He is not an easy Dom to serve.
He is a selective eater, and has no interest in me cooking for him. In the very early stages of our relationship, this was not evident, but since then it’s become very evident. The most i can do is encourage him to eat what he wants when he feels like it.
He has zero interest in and not much awareness of whether the house is clean or neat or not. It’s literally just not something he pays attention to. i’m a bit that way myself – if i’m not careful, we can start looking like hoarders. I have someone come in to clean every other week, which means we have to straighten up enough for her to clean, and that keeps things from getting out of hand. Also, the mess begins to bother me and I know i feel better when it’s organized and neater. Sir does not care. He is pretty completely unconcerned about whether i’ve done the appropriate chores or not.
I know he has to make an effort to notice when i get my hair cut or my nails done – even though i make the announcement right before i go. And for sure, I’m 100 times more judgemental about my weight than he is.
You might think that i can serve him by fetching and carrying things, since he has limited mobility and walking and carrying things can be a challenge. So I can do those kinds of things – get his food at a buffet, carry his coffee to the table, and so on. But – for both of us, it begins to feel like “care-giving” – as if i’m doing those things because he’s not able to. Since his goal now is more independence, we’ve agreed that i won’t do those things unless he asks for help.
It’s interesting, isn’t it? How do i serve him? What does that look like?
In other news, which is exciting probably only to me, i’ve decided to start participating in some of the TBT fun with posts from my original blog. I’ve realized that the reasons that led me to distance myself from it are no longer applicable. This makes me feel more connected with my past and my self from a different life. Fondles efforts to renew interest in CWS (cock-worshiping subs) is what inspired me. In fact, i might have to post my old post about that before Thursday.
Anyhow. Happy FFF to you. Good times ahead.