The Spanking Question – from Amy

/ olivia

Thanks, Amy!  Love this question.

What was the first spanking you ever received as an adult and would you say it was playful? Sexual? A punishment?  Oh, sadly, the first spankings I received as an adult were the result of sharing my secret liking for spankings with some very vanilla guy I was dating, who then tried to spank me because he figured I’d like it and it would turn me on.  It did turn me on, but being spanked by someone who doesn’t really like doing it and who doesn’t know what he’s doing at all is not as much fun as those of us who crave spankings might dream of.

On the other hand, my first actual spanking by someone who considered himself a Dom for real, and who liked to spank women, was a lovely experience.  I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.  And the best spanking I ever had – well, really, it was “impact play” was from a Dom at a dungeon.  We had been dating and he was really experienced so he’d already spanked me and tied me up and done all kinds of things.

He attached me to a St. Andrews cross.  Just my wrists, he left my ankles unfettered.  He told me if what he did “hurt more than I expected it to” that I should raise one leg off the ground, to let him know, because in the dungeon he wouldn’t be able to hear my safe word.

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He started with a flogger, I remember that, but i couldn’t tell you what else he used on me, just that i slipped into subspace without ever feeling real pain and just soared for a while.  The entire room disappeared.

All i was aware of was this amazing sensation of being in my body completely and totally present to the moment, but just focused on me.  Nothing else existed other than the feelings i was having.  When I came back to earth, he was untying me, and my ass was red and welted, but i had still not felt any real pain.

When i said that to him, “but it never even hurt, Sir,” in tones of amazement, he said, “Of course not, it wasn’t supposed to,” adding  “Come on, carry this blanket over here and I’ll wrap you up,” or something like that.   He left me just trembling with submissive longings…

Sigh.  It was lovely.

Thanks for the question!!

 

 

 

13 thoughts on “The Spanking Question – from Amy”

  2. Oh WOW Olivia, Eric and I are always talking about trying St Andrews Cross and we do fantasize about the whole dungeon thing. I’ve never gotten to subspace but what’s fascinating by your post, is we always thought it was because of the level of play. Eric doesn’t want to hurt me and I’m kind of wimpy compared to some of the girls I read about. The fact that you got to subspace without it being extremely painful – where do we sign up?! No. Seriously. Where do we sign up? Eric would love to learn how and I’m in for the experience. Awesome story. Thanks so much for sharing.
    Amy

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    • Lol, I love your enthusiasm, Amy – but go read Willie’s comment first, because she’s also right, subdrop can be a thing (although if you and your husband know it might be coming, it’s easeir to deal with.) Anyhow, if you’re serious, here are some thoughts.

      There are events where they have classes on how to do – stuff. I imagine you already know that. Often there’s a play party afterwards, but you wouldn’t have to go that, and if you did go, you could just watch (in a casual way) and just sort of see what it feels like. I love play parties for all kinds of reasons and even if you don’t do a thing while you’re there, you will probably be pretty ramped up afterwards. It’s like the most serious foreplay. I was at an event that had a class in spanking that I went to just for the fun of it and it was pretty fascinating. This might sound funny, but it made it clear to me why my first spankings were not what I’d had in mind.

      There are also books about things like that. I can recommend some good books, but not necessarily one on teaching how to spank (not my forte, you know…) But I’m sure you already know that.

      Beyond that, I think it’s experience and maybe experimentation. I’m pretty sure, in retrospect, that what happened that night was that my Dom started with a really slow warm-up, which allowed my endorphins time to kick in. As he increased the intensity, he did it in a slow and steady way ( which is why he told me to signal him if it hurt more than I expected, right?) So I got used to it. And the opiods in my system came out and were all floating around and – beyond that, I don’t know what happened. I dont’ really understand what subspace is, other than this lovely thing that happens. But I think it was the warm-up and then the slow, steady pace that did it.

      I’ve experienced supspace through the use of rope too, which can be a really sensual and intense experience, so you might see if Eric is at all interested in Shibari. And I’ve experienced it through painful spankings but I’m not a big pain slut either so maybe it doesn’t take that much. I would speculate that you can’t get there as well through punishment spankings, but it’s pure speculation. I know you and Eric have been at this a few years (yay for you!!) and so you may have done this a bunch of times. But has he tried spanking you with different implements, not to see which is the worst, but to see which you like the best?

      Ok, I’ve written a blog post here, and you probably already know lots of it. But good luck playing with it! Also, if you’re in the southeastern US, email me if you want recommendations for events. ❤

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  3. Oh that does sound great. I have been to subspace a handful of times- though I DID FEEL pain to get there. Actually, the first time it happened I didn’t know what the heck was going on. Barney thought I was falling asleep. I loved the after effects. The second time it happened I was told by a far more experienced Dom that he suspected I went beyond it, which I didn’t even know was a ‘thing’. I had a horrible, horrible drop that lasted almost a week. I was emotionally flat-lined for days. Apparently my dopamine levels needed to rise again? Again no clue. LOL. See this is what happens boys and girls when you don’t know what subspace is. At the time we were strictly Dd. My head was, who am I kidding, IS a hard nut to crack.

    Now that I am more aware of it as is Barney, life is better. LOL.

    I have to say I am envious of your experience.

    willie

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    • Drat, Willie, I swear I had forgotten about subdrop. Sigh… Right. That can really suck. And it does help when you know to expect it and your partner has some experience helping you with it. I’ve heard people talk about Dom-drop lately too, which makes sense. It is a euphoric experience, so crashing afterwards makes perfect sense for them too.

      And yes, for sure pain can take us to subspace – and it is still lovely. I might be a bit envious that your current lifestyle allows for the possibility of it! 🙂

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    • Yes, he did, although the other times I most remember were with rope and not spanking. He was really an expert in Shibari and I can still remember the feel of the rope on my skin as he created a “dress” or other shapes. I was looking for an article just a minute ago to describe what they call it when they work from the waist down – harness? I’m not sure. But anyhow, I found this article that talks specifically about the mesmerizing http://www.artofcontemporaryshibari.com/?page_id=29 I love that it says:

      “In addition to creating beautiful patterns, with rope, body and limb placements, Shibari rigging induces physiological conditions known as “sub space” and “top space”, which are similar to the “runners high” experienced by athletes. A Shibari experience results in an increased level of endorphins and other hormones, creating a trance-like experience for the bottom/model and an adrenaline rush for the Top/rigger. When a Shibari scene is performed with appropriate ambience, these effects are actually visible in the face of the model. The term “rope drunk” is sometimes affectionately used to describe the euphoric condition of the model after a Shibari experience.”

      Anyhow. We did some suspension bondage too, which was amazing, and – well, thanks for asking. Those are some lovely memories to unfold. ❤

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