I have a bunch of thoughts floating around in my head – if I knew how to do it, I’d put them here in bubbles, like a cartoon, or circles. But I don’t know how to do that here, so you’ll have to imagine it. Here are my thoughts, in no particular order.
- Spanking – getting spanked – clears my mind and helps me focus.
- BDSM has, or can have, a spiritual component.
- I carry a lot of guilt for things that aren’t my responsibility.
- Perfectionism has been a lifelong struggle for me, and has sometimes kept me from trying to do new things.
- It’s very unlikely that I will get to have a BDSM relationship with someone who is also my partner.
- My experience with the BDSM community in real life has helped shaped my beliefs.
- I’m an INFP – changing the world is my goal.
- BDSM is about way more than sex.
- I’m not a very disciplined person – I’m a wanderer.
- Being a wanderer is not all bad, but it’s not all good either.
- I’m drawn to the idea of punishment – just as a general principal.
- Focusing on pleasing a Dom is really good for me.
- My submissiveness extends beyond a relationship with one person.
- I might be more effective in the things I do – job, vocation, and relationships – if I were less driven by the need to please.
- It would be helpful to have guidance in handling my desire to serve.
- Having a relationship with a Dom helps me focus my desire to please and allows me to build my desire to serve.
- Whatever I do has to be consistent with my values, which may not be traditional ones.
- Spanking, obedience, and discipline are sexually arousing for me.
- BDSM help me be more embodied, more connected to my physical self.
So there’s a nice mix of ideas. Or maybe an odd mix. I believe lots of things, but these are ones that seem important to my kinky life. These are the things I’m trying to sort through to decide what I need to do next.