What About a BDSM-Based Life Coach?

/ olivia

I’m imagining someone – a Dom – who’s willing to help people – um, submissive people – meet whatever life goals they have.  Only instead of coaching, they use a paddle.  And other disciplinary techniques.

I have a job coach now, well, a “leadership” coach.  I’m sure it will be interesting and probably helpful.  But think how much fun it would be if it were combined with BDSM.

He’d have to accept you as a student first.  It wouldn’t be about the relationship with him except for him (or her) being a mentor.  And the Master.

Having orgasms would be a reward for meeting goals.  It wouldn’t be about pleasuring him as a goal, it would be your own life-enhancing goals, supported by his discipline.  So instead of sex with him as a common-place, that might become a big reward as you grew to respect and honor him.

Hmmmmmm {Walks away thinking…}

13 thoughts on “What About a BDSM-Based Life Coach?”

  1. Hmm indeed. Interesting, though I am giving thought to if a submissive (and just thinking out loud here) would be successful with the pain/pleasure aspect alone? Wouldn’t there be a key component missing if the submissive was doing it all for her/his own benefit-not to please their Dom? Curious about how the submissive mindset would come into play on this one.

    willie

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    • Oh – great question – and shoot, my answer might be a whole blog post. Short answer is that you would be submissive to what the Dom was telling you to do – and (in my fantasy) the submissive’s goal would be something that would help them serve the world as opposed to one Dom, so it would be to the submissive’s benefit mostly to the extent that they were able to reach altruistic goals because of it. Does that make sense, as far as it goes? And can I use you question to jump start a blog post?

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      • First off of course you can use my question! lol No need to ask

        I suppose that like anything it would be vary from individual to individual. I am not sure that it would work for me personally. For example, if Barney tells me to eat breakfast by a certain time, I do so if I believe it is truly important to him. No amount of spanking ( I say that currently- in position is another story, ah hindsight LOL), is a deterrent. The motivation is pleasing him, and believing it is IMPORTANT to him is an even bigger motivation. So if I went to a Dom for Hire, I would ultimately feel I still had control. He would be servicing me for my benefit alone. Guess my make up is such that I don’t find that rewarding enough to bother. LOL.

        As for serving the world. I wish I was a big enough person to have that as my motivator, and I can be but not with a Dom’s help if that makes sense? With a silly example that doesn’t have to do with bettering the world but the outside world in general, I don’t really have rules about breaking the law ( speeding, texting when driving etc.) because to me they are just not acceptable. The law is the law and I follow it (mostly..lol). That being said, it doesn’t fulfill me as a submissive to do so. If I do charity work it does fulfill me- just not my submissive side. I guess what I am poorly trying to say is, if I were made to do ‘worldly’ good deeds, I would feel great about myself but not because I was being submissive about it to a Dom who wasn’t truly invested beyond getting paid? If Barney ‘forced’ me to do charity work ( anxiety would definitely come into play for me here) I would feel good for the work I did, AND my submissive side would benefit.

        But then again, your post really wasn’t about all of that I suppose. LOL. I can see how people would like accountability in a concrete way (not better health, or a clean house, or world peace as the end result- but if you DON”T this will happen). I am just not sure how submission (through the my personal lens) c/would play a part in it.

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      • Lol, I love following your thought process though how this might work and not work for you (albeit mostly not work.) I think that I’m thinking about it differently from you in some ways AND that my submission is different from yours in some ways. I’m going to try to flesh out what I’m thinking so be patient with me. I’m not sure that it’s going to work completely for me either, even in theory, but that’s ok. I’m going to wander off and think some more…

        Thanks so much for your comments though! It’s really helping me think it through!

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  2. Ah well that is the beauty of it all isn’t it? Submission is different for everyone. Or at least most of us here believe that. LOL. Kills me when one person feels they are ‘more’ submissive than someone else (or less). Only the individual knows how easy/difficult it is to submit to something. I might find it really easy to submit to something someone else finds so difficult ( or vice versa) -doesn’t make me a ‘better’ or worse submissive, just different.

    I look forward to reading whatever you come up with….and I promise to shut up now! LOL

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    • Nooooo, I didn’t intend for you to “shut up” at all! Not only is what’s hard and easy to submit to different for each person, maybe the reasons we do it and what we get out of it are too. I always appreciate interest and feedback on what I write.

      Thank you!! ❤

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      • OH definitely on the whys! I used to belong to a few Dd- D/s chat groups. One of the most common reasons for many subs to bring ttwd to their spouses was accountability. It wasn’t mine, but it was the general reason for many.

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  3. I know a few Dominant men that simply don’t have the time that a dynamic requires to be healthy and strong, and also want more than they can have from a relationship which is basically a play partner😆😌. Seems to me that this Coach idea could be a realistic way for them to get their needs met while also meeting the needs of a submissive who may not be getting what they need in their relationship.

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  4. Dear Jade,
    I love you. Yes. That’s more what I had in mind. Someone kind of like Raven Kaldera but less intense and more – I don’t know, less intense anyhow. You know what I mean.
    Thank you.
    ❤ ❤ ❤

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  5. In certain bdsm communities there are mentors and protectors. I think a “life coach” for submissives would fall under these categories. Most life coaches do so via phone conversations, but I think it is a good idea to have a bdsm friendly life coach who coaches in all aspects of the clients life. Like having a bdsm friendly doctor who knows why those red welps are on her ass.

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