Belated Sunday Check-in

/ olivia

i am still here – doing house things.  Downsizing my stuff.  Pushing us forward on the path of getting ready to sell the house. No exciting developments from fetlife – or real life, for that matter.  And that’s ok.  i’m in a phase of transition anyhow.

Still not losing weight, not working on my book, and not writing faithfully here every day.

“[I]t’s the child writer who has figured out, early on, that writing is about saving your soul.”

          — Betsy Lerner, The Forest for the Trees

i could barely write when i started writing., and writing has saved my soul many times.

i am doing a bit better with mindfulness practice, but incrementally better, not in a way that feels life altering.  Still better at preaching than practicing.

Sigh.  It’s ok.  i’m ok.  If i still have this fantasy that a Dom could push my boundaries, could help me fly a little higher, i recognize that it’s not likely.  Even when we find a Dom for me (and notice that i say “when,” not “if,”)  but even then i don’t think he’ll serve that purpose.  (Oooh, notice the “serve” part – so really i just want a Dom for my own purposes?  Yeah, maybe.  No, that’s not really accurate, you know, it’s that mutuality that makes it work.)

Anyhow.  i read some new books this weekend, and i have some thoughts about my most recent conversations with Burford to write about, so i imagine i’ll be around this week.   Here’s a quote to take with you.

“Your genuine happiness does not come from other people, activities or things, it comes from living a meaningful life – a life that is in alignment with your values and is beneficial.”
― John Bruna

 

 

6 thoughts on “Belated Sunday Check-in”

  1. You said *when* (beaming)! I think that a good Master serves the relationship which includes supporting you and your goals. You know what you need to be your best-don’t settle. I think it’s far easier if you focus on finding someone who has that mindset AND someone that has a control fetish for the things you want to work on. Okay and a spanking fetish too. He’s out there. Hugs to you

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Thanks, jade. I think ideally you’re right about finding someone with the right mindset. Fingers crossed, we’ll see. ❤ But yeah, I totally agree about the Master supporting the relationship. Although – maybe that's because i've been reading BDSM romances again. 🙂
      love you.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  2. Excuse my naivete; however, in finding or searching for another Dom – what is the purpose? I am not questioning you, yet, seeking to understand. I have a Dom and could not think of another. I could be too vanilla still; however, the whole extra people thing has me a bit curious. I enjoy the things we’ve done and would love to watch others; however, I am not too sure I’d be cool with someone touching him or someone else touching me for that matter. I am not closed minded, just sort of built 1:1 – am I entering into a world, where multiple partners is common-place?
    If you are seeking another Dom, I am in full support of your quest, yet, I am pretty new and still have a lot to learn.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Dear New SubPrincess,

      I’m so glad you asked that!! Nope, not naive at all. You’re just new to my story. No, this isn’t a world where multiple partners are necessarily commonplace, and that’s not something i imagined myself wanting or doing. It’s been a slow process to get me here -starting about 12 years ago when i began looking for a D/s relationship, proceeding through a marriage that was ruined through alcoholism, seeking the right Dom, finally finding him, falling in love, living together happily – and then losing all the D/s connection over the last 3 years, ultimately due to physical/medical issues on his part. Spending a couple of years trying to figure out how to get the D/s connection back. Recognizing it just wasn’t going to happen. Deciding i didn’t want to end my relationship with MP, but i wasn’t ok with not having some kind of D/s in my life.

      The rest of the story is here in this blog . Trying to figure out how to make that happen – which led me to have more conversation with him because I didn’t want to be sneaky, and led us to this point. But to answer your real question, no, nobody will/should expect you to have anything other than a 1:1 relationship unless you want something different.

      Thanks so much for reading and for commenting!!

      Like

      Reply

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