i was reading this article this morning about friendship – the first paragraph pulled me into it, where they say:
“THINK of all the people with whom you interact during the course of a day, week, month and year. The many souls with whom you might exchange a greeting or give a warm embrace; engage in chitchat or have a deeper conversation. All those who, by some accident of fate, inhabit your world. And then ask yourself who among them are your friends — your true friends. Recent research indicates that only about half of perceived friendships are mutual. That is, someone you think is your friend might not be so keen on you. Or, vice versa, as when someone you feel you hardly know claims you as a bestie.”
I know that’s true – within the last couple of years, i’ve been reminded of it in some fairly unpleasant ways. But this post isn’t about that – you know, i’m 60 years old, it is ok to be reminded that not everyone who acts like your friend is going to hang on when it gets tough. And that’s ok. The article resonated with me when it said:
“…friends are people you take the time to understand and allow to understand you.”
And i thought about how, in the blogosphere, we take the time to put ourselves there – how the process of becoming friends is enhanced by the degrees of intimacy we share. At the same time, we are only putting out what we want to be seen, so from that perspective, it’s a bit like Facebook. i like to think that i’m honest and transparent – that’s my intent – but of course, i’m not objective about myself.
And this part made me stop and think about all the people i treasure.
So it’s worth identifying who among the many people you encounter in your life are truly friends. Who makes time for you? Whose company enlivens, enriches and maybe even humbles you? Whom would you miss? Who would miss you?
And it occurs to me that maybe what matters is how it feels when i think about the people i have affection for – regardless of whether or not they meet some criteria for “friendship.” Maybe what matters is that it make me feel good when i think about them.
Anyhow. Just musing more on friends, and feeling grateful for the people in my life.
In terms of check-in… um, i haven’t even weighed myself in a long time. Exercise schedule is hit-n-miss, but better than it was. And i’m being more active in general more of the time. And, in general, feeling pretty good about life.
Enough of that. i want to pass on a question that Subprincess asked. She said:
“I know a relationship D/s or otherwise is really whatever the 2 or more people decide; however, how common is it for a Dom to have many submissives? I am curious and seeking any input.”
My reply:
That’s an interesting question. i think it depends on what you mean by “have.” And what you mean by “common.” Lol – but seriously, i mean, what Dom would have time to really dominate many submissives? Unless it was some kind of poly household, but then that’s a different thing. i don’t know.
So i’m throwing the question out here – what do youall say?
Olivia 
In my observations, it doesn’t work out for many people on a long term basis, mainly because of the time and energy power exchange takes to do well. I recommend Raven Kalderas book “Power circuits” for a better understanding of how to do poly and power exchange in an ethical way.
Olivia, you are pretty good at making objective and analytical references about yourself. I think that this is an advantage of long term writing like we do. More truth comes out than whatever we intend to share and people definitely get a sense of who we are. Sometimes we are blessed with friendships. I’m so glad that you write and share. Your friendship enriches my life greatly. 💙
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for the input on Doms and multiple submissives – i so agree. And no one talks about this stuff better than Raven Kaldera, imo.
Thanks for that vote of confidence in my objectivity – but i think your’e write, if we keep writing long enough, who we are emerges. i’m grateful for your observations and wisdom!! And your comments! ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Perception is reality. How you perceive a relationship is how it is in your mind, no matter what the other person perceives, until something changes that perception.
I’m polyamorous. Daddy tried bringing a slave into our house as a poly family and it almost destroyed me. Imo the most common multiple submissive scenarios are online or part time. Very few have success with multiple submissive a full time. Poly households do exist, but that is kind of a different dynamic than I believe you are talking about as well. I recommend the book “Open”. I still reference it as my relationship is open and I’m polyamorous although we don’t live in a poly household.
I also ramble, so I hope some of that made sense.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi, Sexy Submissive Princess,
Of course you’re right, about perception and friendships. The fact that in x situation someone doesn’t treat me as a friend doesn’t actually change the warm fuzzy feelings i had for them – and often those feelings still linger from my perspective once i’ve gotten over whatever hurt feelings ensued. Good point.
Thanks for the input on the Dom/many subs thing. Seems like between you, me, and jade we have a consensus. Who is the book “Open” by? i googled, couldn’t find it.
And i don’t think you were rambling at all! i appreciate you sharing your thoughts here!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry, Jenny Block is the author. It’s really a good read for any open minded person interested in poly things. Poly is so complicated and like d/s there really are no rules except the ones you make. Thanks for the welcome, I’ve been searching for a real community. There are so many fake whatever’s out there and I can’t handle them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Cool – thanks!! It looks pretty good!
And yeah, probably not all BDSM bloggers are genuine, but there’s a bunch of us who are. Glad you’re here. 🙂
LikeLike